When entering the transition into menopause there are many considerations for women to tune into:
What is your perspective on ageing women? Are you still hooked on the ‘young, tight skin, maiden look is the only beauty that exists for women ‘ kind of mindset?
What does it take to love your experience of life, the wisdom emerging out of all the years lived, the compassionate, inspired, experienced woman you are becoming ? To let her shine through all the wrinkles and the little ‘sagginess’ of skin?
Who are the older women that inspire you? Notice them, notice all of the women ahead of your time.
How do you want to transition into your menopausal years, the years where you no longer shed your blood, where there is a new way of being in the world ?
How much time and patience can you give to yourself during this time?
Are you well equipped to enter the unknown, what support do you need ?
Is your life spacious and can you allow yourself to attune to your needs whatever they might be?
Or are you super busy with career, mothering, supporting parents …?
How strong are your symptoms ?
Do you need herbs, massages, counseling or HRT?
If you have strong symptoms but don’t need to work so much you might be able to rest up a lot and prioritize the needs of your body, so you can be with the discomfort or you might lessen the discomfort as you have time to listen in .
If there is a very full life and no option to slow it down enough you might need more herbal or hormonal support.
If your libido goes down and out the window for a while- how can you be with that?
If you’re single, it might not be a pressing issue, you can give it time and allow the transition into a different way of sexual experience to happen organically.
If you’re in a relationship it might be more challenging to navigate this depending on where your partner is at.
Again there are different possibilities but the most important is to have the conversations; to name that you're feeling differently. Possibly you might feel confused, not interested, frustrated, enraged, tired, exhausted, longing for your cave.... Sharing that and tuning in to what is your desire now, even so there’s not so much drive; how would you like to live your intimacy and closeness to your partner or lover and new encounters?
The erotic experience usually shifts as we move from the hormone centered desire (ovulation and often before the bleed) to hardly any desire stimulating hormones during the transition into menopause…
Eros starts moving in a very different way.
Can you allow for the shift to happen? To surrender what has been and open up to new possibilities, to find your erotic desires? To explore what deeply nourishes you now? To playfully and confidently explore it, request it, bring it into your life?
This is a Rite of passage - how would you like to mark this passage ? When is the time to mark it ? Does it want to be marked a few times ?
I love to bring more awareness to this strong and exquisite passage and the consciousness arising from the women who transitioned through it.
Let's take it out of the context of medicalisation and symptom repression and go to the roots, to the depth, to the psyche; let's find the empowerment again through inquiry into and acceptance of the changing that is happening.
And I'm glad to observe that consciousness around the importance of this Rite of Passage is rising; that there are more humans, mainly women talking and sharing truthfully and inspired about it.
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