As much as it is about the surrendering for the Woman, the feminine principle, the surrender into the opening, the letting go of boundaries, fear, contractions in order to receive life, the other, the lover. There is also some ground that has to be covered for a lot of us women, before that can happen. How can we create an environment that is conducive to the highly sensitive feeling- system, that our feminine body is? How can we evoke a trusting atmosphere for her nervous system to relax and for any hardening, numbing or sense of separation to give space to surrender into her erotic potential?
The other day I offered myself to a friend, who is in training in sexological bodywork. Her task for the week was to give someone a daoist based, erotic massage. It was very beautiful, holy and connected. We set the table up outside on the deck in the spring breeze, surrounded by trees and the magnificence of the earth and the sky.
After a while she asked me how I would like my breasts to be touched, I tuned in to myself and told her, what first needed to happen before I even wanted more touch on my breast. And so we went on: her asking me, or me offering up what I felt like receiving next and then I also just let go into the intuitive flow of her touch. At times I had to ask for a pause, to just be and assimilate the arousal that was happening through me. We practiced different ways of breathing which was very helpful too.
Receiving this session really helped me to see more clearly how empowering it is, to speak out my desire, to share my self-knowIedge with my lover or my practice buddy.
This is about getting to know oneself on that deep erotic level, This is about finding out what it is, that makes Her shine and sparkle This about finding the voice to ask for what She knows will bring Her into connection with her deep flow and with Him/Her consequently.
It’s also about letting go of the dream that there will be that ‘knight in shining armour’, that ‘amazing tantric man/woman’, who will awaken Her from her frozen slumber.
Women can do a lot by themselves to de- freeze, re-sensitise their bodies, their breast, hearts and yonis. And the better She knows herself the easier it will be to surrender and receive from a lover and to enter a deep and full filling space together.
This is very dear to my heart, to offer that support to Woman, to find Her pleasure and be able to access it by herself and for herself. And to find Her voice and bring Her self-knowledge to Her Lover without criticizing or shutting Him/Her down. To inspire and invoke an atmosphere of sweetness, connection and exploration with less attachment to an outcome.